Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The invisible girl

I was never the pretty girl. I was never the prom queen, never a cheerleader, never valedictorian. I was never the smart girl, the quiet girl or the band geek. I was always no one. I was the girl that everyone went to elementary through high school with, but no one knew my name. I was just "that girl". You know that one girl in social studies who sits in the back of class...you know, the skinny girl who wears too much make up and hangs in back of the school with all the weirdos??? Yep that was me. Completely non existent to everyone...The weirdo. It's funny, because I never even thought of myself as "the weirdo". At least not until High school, that's when I realized... I was a freak. A weirdo. An outsider. A no one. And not just at school, but at home too.
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About Me

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I open my eyes and realize that I have yet another day to drag on through life. I lie in bed wondering why I was put on this earth, if pain and suffering is all I am destined for. I go through each day dragging my feet and am absolutely sure that my existence was simply a mistake. I could never even fantasize about a better life. A life where people keep their promises, where parents are in love and are together forever, like on tv. A little girl…years beyond her age, ignored by parents, defiled by man, bullied by an older sister and concurrently given the opportunity of a lifetime. It is not until we see the darkest depths that we can truly find freedom in ourselves.